The Color of Summer Read online

  He held her close for a moment, even as she wriggled. These days it seemed like she was all limbs, growing quicker than he could keep track of.

  “Daddy?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Will you tell me the story about my mommy again?”

  Tyler startled. It had been a while since June had asked about Victoria.

  “You’re thinking about her, huh?”

  June nodded and pressed her cheek against his chest, her little hand curling around a fistful of his T-shirt.

  “Well, her name was Victoria, and she was very pretty and had long brown hair, like you.”

  “And she died from cancer when I was a baby.”

  “That’s right.”

  Tyler had never hidden anything about Victoria from Juniper, even when it hurt him to talk about her. He’d never gone into the specifics of their relationship, though. June didn’t need to know that her parents were separated and barely speaking when her mom died.

  Tyler had spoken to a counselor about how he should best approach the subject of death with his daughter and still occasionally called him for advice. Out of all the challenges that parenthood had brought, this had been one of the hardest.

  “I don’t remember her.”

  “You wouldn’t, honey. You were a very small baby, like Eli and Lucie, when she died.”

  “That’s sad.”

  “It is, yeah.” He leaned in to kiss her head. “But you have me, and you have Nana Angela and Granddad, and lots of aunts and uncles and cousins who love you very much. You know that, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Good.”

  He held her close, imprinting the feeling of his precious girl in his arms into his memory so he’d never forget this. His bright, beautiful, six—nearly seven—year-old daughter who sometimes felt sad that she never really had a mom.

  “I’m gonna go play in the pool with Max,” June announced when she finally got free of his grasp. “He said he would play after dinner.”

  “Be nice,” he called after her.

  He watched as June ran over to where Max was sitting with Toby, Mike, and John, and tugged on his arm until he got up. Max looked around, then grinned when he found Tyler and jogged over.

  “Can you put these somewhere safe for me?” he asked, carefully taking out his hearing aids. “I can’t go in the pool with them in.”

  Tyler held his hand out, palm flat, as Max turned them off and set them down.

  “I’ll put them in the kitchen, on some paper towel.”

  “That’s great. Thanks.”

  Before Tyler could say anything else, Max took off at a jog, then performed a ridiculous flip into the pool, much to the delight of the kids.

  Tyler got up, not wanting to burn in the setting sun, and took his plate and Max’s hearing aids back to the kitchen.

  “I heard you’re hosting a sleepover,” Tyler said to his mom, who was transferring all the leftovers to the fridge. He put his plate in the dishwasher and set the hearing aids where he told Max he’d leave them.

  “Well, Dana and Mike wanted a night on their own,” she said. “You know I don’t mind watching them.”

  “All four can be a handful, though.”

  “Not really.” She turned back to smile at him. “It’s nice having four kids in the house again.”

  “I really don’t know how you did it. I struggle with one.”

  “She’s a sweetheart, Tyler. I don’t think you’re struggling at all.”

  “She asked me about Victoria,” Tyler said, keeping his voice low. “Just now.”

  His mom closed the fridge and pulled him into a tight hug. “Is she okay?”

  “I think so. I never know where it comes from, when she gets these bursts of curiosity.”

  “There’s a lot of mothers and daughters around today,” his mom said, brushing Tyler’s hair back from his face. “Maybe that triggered it.”

  “Could be. I thought she’d grown out of it. You remember that period when she wanted me to tell her about Victoria every night, like a bedtime story?”

  “I remember. I think it’s going to be something she’s always curious about, Tyler, especially as she grows up. You’re doing the right thing.”

  Tyler laughed. “Did you ever feel like you were doing the right thing?”

  “Oh, we messed up all the time with you kids. All the time. But that’s the big secret of parenting, Tyler. You’re going to screw up. It’s inevitable.”

  “Yeah.” He sighed and tipped his head to rest on her shoulder. “Most people have a partner to share the burden with, though.”

  “Nothing to stop you going out and finding a nice girl,” she said, ruffling his hair.

  “Or a nice boy.” Tyler’s heart gave a painful thump. His mom was silent for a long second.

  “Or a nice boy,” she agreed. “If that’s what you’d like.”

  “I think… I think it’s an option. For me.”

  “Oh, Tyler.”

  Tyler let his mom lead him over to the couch in the corner of the kitchen. It overlooked the backyard and the deck. Tyler had spent a lot of time curled up on this couch, watching his mom work in the kitchen.

  “You know that doesn’t matter to me,” she said, not letting go of Tyler’s hand as they sat down.

  “It’s something I only figured out recently,” he admitted.

  “Okay.”

  “I’m not… I’m not Josh.”

  “No. But then, few people are like Josh.”

  “I don’t think I can ever be like him. He’s so… so bold and open.”

  “He’s always been that way, Tyler, ever since he was a little kid. He never needed to come out to me and your dad. I always say to people, that one was born with the closet door thrown wide-open. As he grew up, he just got further and further out of it.”

  “Yeah.” That was a good description. “I already spoke to Josh and Toby about it. It seemed like they were a good place to start.”

  “Are you going to go to Pride with them? You know they go to lots of parties and things, with their friends. Their gay friends,” she clarified, like she needed to make sure he knew she wasn’t scared of the word.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it.” Tyler sighed. “I haven’t thought about a lot of stuff yet. I just didn’t want to be hiding anything from you. I’ll talk to Dad too.”

  “If you need anything, just tell me. You never have to be scared of telling me anything. You know that, right?”

  “I know. I love you.”

  “Love you more. Come here.”

  He accepted her bone-crushing hug, not realizing just how much he’d needed it.

  Chapter Fifteen

  THE SUN was starting to set over the Reeds’ backyard, not that this was any indication of the party winding down. The sky was fading into streaky pinks and purples, though their immediate area was glowing red from the fire in the pit. A few of the grandparent generation had already left, and the babies were almost ready to go to bed, but everyone else seemed happy to relocate to the fire pit and make s’mores.

  Max didn’t care that it was hot this close to the fire, or that he got smoke in his nose and on his clothes. It melted into the other smells that reminded him of his childhood—chlorine from the pool, sunscreen, burgers on the grill.

  He was very happy to supervise s’mores making. He considered himself something of an expert on the subject.

  “You look happy.”

  Max turned to his mom and grinned. “I am happy.”

  “I wish you’d moved home sooner.”

  Max shook his head. “I wasn’t ready. I think I would have been stifled if I’d stayed here or come back before now. I don’t have any regrets.”

  “That’s good.”

  She handed him another marshmallow.

  “I wouldn’t mind a couple of grandkids, you know. Angela is seriously outranking me here.”

  Max tipped his head back and laughed. “I was wondering how long
it would take you to get to that.”

  “I’m just saying. Look at Josh and Toby. They have two babies. Two, Max.”

  “I know. They’re cute kids too.”

  “You should think about it.”

  “I do,” he admitted. “Maybe in the next couple of years. I want to get the studio running steadily. Find someone to settle down with. Then maybe.”

  “All right. I know when to shut up.”

  Max grinned and shook his head. “Give me some time, Mom.”

  “Okay. How are you finding things in town? Are people being nice?”

  Max slid another enormous s’more onto a paper plate and passed it along. His mom had already carefully assembled the next one and passed it to him so he could heat it up over the fire.

  “It’s weird,” he admitted. “I knew it was going to be a change of pace, so that’s not too bad. Having my own business and everything resting on my shoulders now is….”

  “A big responsibility?”

  “Yeah,” Max agreed. “Definitely that.”

  “Me and John are so proud of you,” she said, gripping Max’s knee in her still-shaky hand. “So proud, Max. I know I bug you about grandbabies, and that’s not gonna change, because I’m your mom, but I could burst with pride.”

  “Thanks, Mom. How are you, anyway?”

  “Good. My handwriting is getting better. I have my appointment with Dr. Langford next week, and I want to show her how far I’ve come with it.”

  “I remember. I’m sure she’ll be pleased.”

  His mom nodded. “I think so. I have more tests again next month, just to make sure there’s nothing there.”

  “Just let me know if you need me to take you to an appointment, okay? And you should come over to the apartment one night. I’ll make dinner for us.”

  She smiled. “I’d like that.”

  Max leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “Love you, Mom.”

  SHAUN ACCOSTED him in the kitchen. Max had come in to find a soda, wanting to switch away from the beer so he wouldn’t feel too hungover in the morning. He had appointments in the afternoon.

  “Hey.”

  Max raised an eyebrow at him and leaned back against the counter to drink his Sprite.

  “Hey. What’s up?”

  “You and Tyler.” Shaun looked supremely uncomfortable. “You’re—are you dating my brother?”

  Max cleared his throat. “Well….”

  “I was watching you earlier, and…. Oh God, you are.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Max.” Shaun took a step closer. “Tyler is straight.”

  “I’m no expert on the subject, but I don’t think he is. Actually, I’m more of an expert than you are.”

  “You might be an expert on gay stuff, but I’m an expert on Tyler. And he’s not gay.”

  “You need to take that up with him, dude,” Max said and took a swig of soda.

  “Why are you being an asshole about this?”

  “Shaun.” Max sighed. “The reason why we didn’t tell anyone yet is because it’s not serious yet. We’re just dating right now, and I’m not ready for people to judge us for that. If I tell people, then they’re going to jump to conclusions.”

  “But you’re fucking him.”

  “Well, yeah.”

  In hindsight, he probably should have expected the punch to his jaw.

  “Holy fuck!”

  “What the hell is going on?”

  Angela rushed into the kitchen, probably hearing Max’s exclamation. She caught him cradling his jaw, the can of Sprite fizzing out onto the floor at his feet.

  “It’s fine, Mom.”

  “Like hell it is. I’ll beat both your asses, you see if I won’t. Go grab a mop. Now, Shaun.”

  Shaun skulked off, and Angela hustled Max into a chair at the kitchen table, then passed him ice wrapped in a dish towel.

  “Max?”

  “We had a disagreement,” Max offered. He worked his jaw carefully. “It’s fine. Your son punches like a girl.”

  Angela raised an eyebrow at him.

  “Ma’am,” Max added.

  “You are not children anymore,” Angela said, scolding them both as Shaun ducked back out of the mudroom with a mop. “Use your words, for heaven’s sake.”

  “You deserved that,” Shaun muttered when his mom left the room, still grumbling under her breath. He started to clean up the mess Max had made when he’d dropped his soda.

  “Probably,” Max agreed.

  “You know if people find out, they’re going to start asking me if I’m gay too. Three out of the four Reed kids are into dick.”

  Max snorted at that. “Don’t knock it ’til you try it, Shaun.”

  “You’re such an asshole,” Shaun said, but he was laughing. “Seriously, though. You and Tyler?”

  Max shook his head. “I wish I could explain it. He was just there when I got back, and we started hanging out. It kind of evolved from there.”

  “He’s got a lot going on,” Shaun said, clearly wanting to warn Max off. “And Tyler doesn’t do casual relationships. He’s an all-or-nothing kind of guy.”

  “I’d picked up on that, yeah. I’ve been honest with him, though.”

  “Are you still determined to fight off anyone who asks for an ounce of commitment from you?”

  “Ouch,” Max mumbled.

  Shaun finished his mopping and took a seat opposite Max at the table.

  “I’m sorry, but it’s true. You’ve been refusing to get serious with anyone since forever. And that’s your deal, dude, I don’t have a problem with it. But you can’t fuck around with Tyler. He’s not that sort of guy.”

  “You thought he was the sort of guy who doesn’t fuck other guys at all.” Max thought it was a valid point, but Shaun glared at him.

  “Doesn’t mean you can do your thing where you string someone along for months, then cast them off as soon as it starts getting serious. You forget I know you, Max. Don’t do that to my brother, okay? I love you, but Tyler is my brother.”

  “I know,” Max said quietly. “I’m trying.”

  “And don’t fuck around with Juniper. She’s already dealing with a lot for a little kid. It’s not easy for her, only having one parent, and one who works shifts at that. Tyler does a dangerous job, and that’s going to affect her as she grows up.”

  “I won’t hurt her.”

  “I know you won’t hurt her on purpose, but she’s a sweetheart.” Shaun shook his head. “This is why I’m pissed at you. It’s not fair, you making me fight for both sides.”

  “You don’t need to fight anyone. We’re going to deal with it like adults.”

  “I seriously doubt that.”

  Shaun got up and pulled Max into a back-slapping hug. And like that, it was both forgiven and forgotten. Maybe Angela was right—they really never had grown up.

  WHEN JOSH announced that they were leaving, Tyler started giving Max some not-so-subtle glances. The kids were still running around going crazy, but they’d closed off the pool since dusk had fallen, and Max got the impression they’d all be crashing before long.

  “Anyone need a ride?” Toby asked.

  “Me.” Max stuck his hand up. “If you don’t mind.”

  “We have plenty of room,” Josh told him. “Because someone insisted on buying the biggest family vehicle at the dealership.”

  “Not now, darling,” Toby said sweetly.

  Max made his way around, saying goodbye to people, accepting hugs and offering promises that he would absolutely be back. It wasn’t like they were hard promises to make.

  It took that long for Josh to get the kids’ car seats safely buckled into their—admittedly huge—car, and for Tyler to have subtly made his own exit too.

  “You two aren’t nearly as stealthy as you think you are,” Josh said as he pulled out of the drive.

  “We are very stealthy, thank you very much.” Max had been sent to the back seat, and was currently working his hand into Tyler’s s
horts.

  “No groping in my car!”

  “You’re no fun.” Max pouted.

  “Remember when we were like that?” Toby said, looking back at them fondly. “Barely kept our clothes on for more than ten minutes at a time that first year.”

  “Remember guys, the sex isn’t forever,” Josh said with a grin.

  “You two suck so bad,” Tyler mumbled.

  “No, we suck so good.”

  Max just laughed.

  Josh dropped them off at Tyler’s house and lowered his window so he could yell at them to use condoms before driving off again.

  “Fuck, I left my house keys at my mom’s.” Tyler gave a frustrated sigh. “Come on, you might as well know about this.”

  He went around the side of the house to the garage, where there was a key safe tucked in behind the door.

  “The code is zero-eight-zero-nine. June’s birthday. In case you ever need it.”

  Max nodded and watched Tyler take out a spare key, then followed him back to the front door. This was definitely less scary than Tyler giving him a set of keys, though he didn’t doubt that was on Tyler’s mind.

  When Tyler let them in, Max wasted no time in pushing him back against the door and kissing him senseless. Tyler’s hands went straight to Max’s ass and hauled him closer as Max licked into his mouth.

  “God, I want you,” Tyler murmured.

  “We should make out on the couch.” Like the horny fucking teenagers they were.

  Tyler laughed. “Sure.”

  He walked around, pulling the curtains closed so no one could see in and turning on lamps rather than the big overhead light. Max kicked off his shoes and spread out on the couch in his most seductive and alluring pose.

  Tyler turned around and laughed.

  “Oh, it’s like that, is it?” Max demanded.

  “You’re adorable.”

  Tyler climbed on top of him, settling his hips directly on top of Max’s and his legs taking his weight between Max’s spread thighs. Max scratched the back of Tyler’s neck, which made him melt. Well, almost all of him melted. A part of him had definitely perked up.

  Max kissed him again, slow and filthy. He liked taking charge of sex like this, especially with Tyler, who at first seemed so shy, then showed off his inquisitive side when things got hotter.