The Color of Summer Read online

  Lucie started fussing, so Toby reached over and picked her up to cradle her against his shoulder.

  “We were living in Maine when you met Victoria,” he said. “And you were in Atlanta.”

  “Right,” Tyler agreed. “We were in our first week of college and she was just….”

  Tyler had never really spoken to Josh much about Victoria. They’d met once and hadn’t gotten along that well, so he’d just kept his relationship with her separate from his family. That was fine. He could compartmentalize.

  Moving away for college—even though Atlanta wasn’t that far away, in the grand scheme of things—had been a big deal for Tyler. He hadn’t spent any considerable time away from his family in his whole life, and all of a sudden he had to find new friends and get good grades and still make the basketball team because he was on a scholarship. All those things had been a given for years, and then it all changed, and he had to work for them and do it all without his family close by.

  He’d met Victoria at their first freshman social, and she quickly became his best friend. They started dating, more because Tyler thought it was what was supposed to happen rather than any particular desire on his part, and he liked spending time with her. Hanging out, going to the movies or for dinner wasn’t exactly a chore. He’d respected that she didn’t want to have sex outside of marriage, so they hadn’t. There had never been any question of him pushing her for more, and at the time, he didn’t even consider what he wanted.

  Or what he didn’t want—that seemed more relevant now than it had back then. They’d gotten married and had sex twice on their honeymoon. Then Victoria was pregnant and definitely didn’t want to have sex with him anymore, and….

  “Oh, God,” he said, covering his face with his hands. “I just accepted the way things were, you know? I thought maybe I was one of those people who doesn’t want to have sex all the time. But I met Max and now I definitely want to have sex with him, a lot. Like, as much as I can get. With him it’s so different than it ever was with Victoria.”

  “Max? Max Marshall?” Josh asked. “Max Marshall, Shaun’s best friend?”

  Tyler felt his face heat. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

  “Holy shit, Tyler. Go big or go home, right?”

  “He just moved back here.”

  “And opened a tattoo studio, I know,” Josh said. “We’re planning on going over there. I didn’t know he was gay. Or that you’re fucking him.”

  “Actually, he fucked me.”

  That statement was met with silence.

  “Well,” Toby said after way too long. He continued to bounce Lucie, rubbing her back to shush her. “I didn’t think anything could surprise me anymore.”

  “You’re being safe?” Josh asked. “I’m your brother, Tyler. Don’t look at me like that.”

  “Yes, we’re being safe,” Tyler said. He set his empty bowl back on the tray and swapped it for the coffee. “Sexually, at least. I’m freaking out, Josh.”

  “What about? Be specific.”

  “It’s not simple. We get along so well, and I really like him a lot. We have such amazing chemistry. But what if I lose my job? How am I going to support me and June then?”

  “You have your inheritance, Tyler,” Josh said gently. “From Grandpa. You won’t end up on the street.”

  Tyler shook his head. He’d taken a portion of his inheritance and used it to pay for the house and left the rest of it in a trust so he could pay for Juniper’s education.

  “That’s June’s. Not mine. Plus, I’ve never relied on family money before. I always worked for myself.”

  Josh had taken his inheritance and built a successful business in web design, and now Toby worked in the business too, as a graphic designer. They’d earned their living, just in a different way.

  “You’re skipping ahead several steps,” Toby said, rubbing Tyler’s shoulder now. “Why can’t you just date Max casually for a while? See what happens? If it fades into nothing, then you don’t need to worry.”

  “That’s easy for you to say,” Josh said. “Tyler has always been one of life’s great overthinkers. Bless your heart.”

  That was probably true.

  “I’m not going to not date him because of this. I just can’t help that I’m freaking out.”

  “Is the freaking out about your life a convenient cover so you don’t have to freak out about your attraction to another man?”

  “Ouch.” Tyler winced. Then he buried his face in his hands. “Very ouch.”

  Josh chuckled. “I thought so.”

  “I guess I’ve known for a long time that I’m attracted to men.” Tyler felt the need to clarify that. “I’ve just never met a man who I was attracted to enough to want to act on it.”

  “Until now,” Toby said.

  “Right.”

  “Are you attracted to women?”

  Tyler shook his head. “It’s different.”

  “Different how?” Toby pressed.

  This was what Tyler wanted, for someone to figure it out for him, but it felt as if he was being split open and his insides examined. His chest was tight, like he was going to have a panic attack. He took a deep breath.

  No panicking.

  “With Max, right from the start it was, like… I haven’t seen him in a long time, and he looks really good, you know? He’s gotten all broad, and he has nice arms and all his tattoos.”

  Toby and Josh shared a look, and Tyler kept going. “He’s hot. And the sex was really good. We had sex twice last night, and it’s never been that good before. It’s been nice, I got off, but not like that. Not like last night.”

  “So you’re feeling like a horny teenager because you’re discovering something new about your life,” Toby said. “Just enjoy it and figure things out with him and find out what you’re into. You really don’t have to put a label on it or come out to the world until you’re ready. No one can tell you how to identify your sexuality, and if that changes as you grow and meet new people, then so what?”

  “Take it one step at a time,” Josh added.

  “Okay,” Tyler sighed. He rubbed his hands over his face again, and felt like the tight thing in his chest had loosened a little. “Okay. Thanks. Do you mind if we keep this between us for now? I’m not keeping it a secret, I just want….”

  “To tell people on your own terms,” Toby finished for him. “Of course.”

  “It means a lot to me that you came to us first,” Josh said, reaching over to squeeze Tyler’s arm. “You know if you need anything we’re here for you.”

  Chapter Eleven

  MAX WOKE to a dark bedroom and an empty bed. He had a vague memory of Tyler leaving and tried not to be too upset about it. Tyler had enough going on in his life without dealing with a whiny… whatever Max was to him.

  Max rolled out of bed and headed for the shower, waking himself up under the hot spray. Having Tyler spend the night had felt like a good idea at the time, but now he wasn’t so sure. Tyler was clearly still working some things out. Max had been used in the past by guys who’d wanted to “experiment,” and though he was pretty confident Tyler wasn’t doing that, he couldn’t help but be wary.

  He shut the water off and dragged a towel over himself before heading to the bedroom naked to find underwear.

  Sunday was a weird day, workwise. Kendall had been right about Sweetwater people not wanting to be seen in a tattoo studio on a Sunday morning, but he was starting to see people come in from out of town who didn’t share the same concerns. Still, his appointment book was either packed or empty on Sundays for the next few months. His first appointment wasn’t until midday, so he had plenty of time to make himself bacon and eggs for breakfast and eat it on the couch, in his underwear, watching reruns of SpongeBob SquarePants. He never claimed to be a sophisticated adult.

  Max really, really wanted to text Tyler. Just to make sure he was okay. That was the responsible thing to do after being a guy’s first man-on-man sexual experience. It was what Max
would want for himself, if he could do things over.

  He forced himself to hold off, though, not wanting to make Tyler feel crowded. Time for reflection was good for the soul.

  While he was washing dishes, Max admitted to himself that he had feelings for Tyler. They were soft and fluttery feelings, with fizzy excitement just underneath. He hadn’t dated anyone who had made him feel like that for a long time. His last long-term relationship had been a few years ago now, and though it had ended fairly amicably and he’d casually dated since, he was still surprised to find himself so into Tyler so quickly.

  Max managed to get the studio unlocked and open to the public just after eleven, which he considered a great success. Hallie wasn’t due to start her piercing shift until midday, so he got to work tidying things up and finishing off a sketch that he’d been working on for a new client.

  None of his appointments for the day were particularly taxing. He had a realistic rose, a Celtic twist, and a cute little turtle booked in. The clients were fun, and Hallie had a good stream of people coming through for piercings. Mostly teenage girls.

  Later in the afternoon, Max was out back doing a quick visual inventory on his stock of ink when he heard Hallie talking to a client. She’d easily slipped into the role of receptionist when Max was busy, and he was definitely going to offer her that position when they reviewed her role at the end of the month. The studio had a different vibe when she was working. She was good with people, and Max definitely appreciated the help keeping his appointment book in order.

  He was almost done anyway, so he headed back out to talk to the client—and stumbled to a stop when he saw his childhood best friend.

  “Shaun! Holy shit.”

  Shaun pulled him into a tight, back-slapping hug.

  “Man, it’s good to see you.”

  “You too,” Max said, meaning it. They caught up often enough, staying in contact even when Shaun went to college in Seattle and Max went to Pittsburgh. Now Shaun lived in Columbus, Ohio, working for a high-end marketing company.

  Shaun looked a lot like both of his older brothers—tall and athletic with dark hair and brown eyes. These days he was more likely to wear a tailored suit than the sports jerseys Max had always associated him with when they were kids. Tonight he was wearing smart jeans and a button-down shirt.

  “I heard you were back and decided to swing by.”

  “On a Sunday?” Max said, punching him in the arm. “Dude.”

  “Well, I was visiting a friend,” Shaun said in a way that definitely meant he’d been hooking up all weekend. “I’m on my way back to Columbus but thought I’d stop in.”

  “Welcome to my crib,” Max said, spreading his arms and laughing.

  “This place looks amazing. I can’t believe you only just got it up and running.”

  “Lots of late nights,” Max said, leaning back against the ugly desk. “I couldn’t be out of work for long, so we worked hard to get it open.”

  Max waved to Hallie as she ducked out, calling her goodbyes behind herself.

  “She’s hot.”

  “She’s out of your league,” Max said, poking Shaun in the chest.

  “How’s your mom?”

  “Watch it,” Max said.

  “I meant her health, asshole.”

  “She’s good, thanks. Getting stronger every day. It’s good to be close to her again, though. She would never say she needs me, but….” He shrugged. “I moved out again. Into the apartment upstairs.”

  “I bet she hates that.”

  “She was very happy to have me home. You know she was my first client when I opened.”

  “You tattooed your mom?”

  “Yeah,” Max laughed. “She loved it. I’ll get your mom in here next.”

  “Good luck with that,” Shaun said. He looked around. “Are you done for tonight? You wanna go grab a beer or something to eat?”

  “I’m fucking starving,” Max said. He hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast, and it was almost five. He could afford to shut up now. “You want to go to the diner?”

  The diner had been the place all the cool kids hung out when they were in high school. The food was great, the milkshakes were better, and Max had a hankering for a really big slice of pie.

  “You took the words right out of my mouth.”

  “Let me lock up; then we can go.”

  For a Sunday night, the diner was busy. It seemed like it was still a popular hangout with high school kids, which was maybe not surprising when it was on the same block as the main movie theater, the arcade, and the bowling alley. All wholesome activities for the average small-town teenager, where there were few other things to occupy their time.

  Max was slightly proud to see—well, smell—that the tradition of getting high in the parking lot was still going strong too.

  Ahh, high school.

  They both ordered cheeseburgers and sweet potato fries, same as always, and Max got a strawberry vanilla milkshake too because he was definitely going to unpack his gym equipment this week and start working it off. If he kept telling himself that, maybe he would make it come true.

  “What’s it like, moving back here?” Shaun asked once they were settled in their booth. Miley Cyrus was playing on the jukebox and for some reason, it made Max feel stupidly nostalgic for their friendship.

  “Weird,” Max admitted. “I keep seeing people from school everywhere. It’s like I can’t turn a corner without recognizing someone. Or them recognizing me. And then it’s awkward, because I have no idea who they are.”

  “It doesn’t help that everyone who stayed here or moved back right after college is married and having kids,” Shaun said. “You know Quinn, who I dated our senior year? Mega knocked up.”

  “Your siblings are doing a good job turning the kids out.”

  “Tell me about it. I thought it would get my mom off my back when they all started breeding like fucking rabbits. But no, she wants to see me settled down and happy like all her other children.”

  “I ran into Tyler,” Max said, forcefully casual. “Actually, he pulled me over.”

  Shaun rolled his eyes. “That sounds like Tyler.”

  “We’ve been hanging out. He’s a nice guy.”

  “Whoa, are you replacing me with my brother?” Shaun mimed stabbing himself in the chest with his fork. “Low blow.”

  “I’m not replacing you with anyone,” Max laughed. “I don’t know anyone here anymore, dude. Like you said, they’re all either coupled up and settled down, or living somewhere other than Sweetwater.”

  Max wasn’t sure how Shaun would react to him dating Tyler. They’d been best friends for so long, but this was something their friendship had never come up against. When they were in high school, Max hadn’t dated anyone—that had been Shaun’s arena—and even though Max was out, he hadn’t had his first boyfriend until he went to college. Shaun had always been incredibly protective of his family, despite being the youngest. Max decided not to tell him anything until both he and Tyler were more sure of what their relationship was doing.

  “It was a big deal, you moving back.”

  Max shrugged. “I want to be close to my mom. I got so scared, Shaun, when she was in the hospital. Opening my own studio was always in my long-term plans, and doing it here meant I could be here to keep an eye on her.”

  “She’s going to be okay?”

  “It looks that way, yeah. I took her to another doctor’s appointment last week, and they said she’s doing great. She hasn’t changed at all.”

  “Like, her personality?”

  “Yeah. Just after it happened, I was talking to her doctors in the hospital, and they said there could be emotional changes, or her personality could be different. She does get frustrated sometimes when she can’t do things. It’s taking a lot longer for her strength to come back than she was hoping. And I think she’s seeing a therapist.”

  “For rehab?”

  “Physical rehab, yeah, but also a therapist who she can ta
lk to. The doctor in the hospital said we should watch for symptoms of anxiety or depression, but she seems to be doing okay.”

  Shaun reached over and squeezed Max’s shoulder. “If you need anything you can call me, you know that? I can come back here, or we can talk on the phone. Right?”

  Max nodded. “Thanks. I was really stressed about everything before I got home, but now I’m here, it’s better. I can see for myself that my mom’s okay.”

  “Good.”

  Shaun leaned back so their server could deliver their burgers, and neatly changed the subject so they didn’t have a private conversation overheard.

  “The studio looks great, by the way.”

  “Sorry,” the server said, brushing her hair from her face. “Are you Max? From Sweetwater Ink?”

  “That’s me,” Max said with a winning smile.

  “I keep meaning to come talk to you about a tattoo I want. Everyone says you’re amazing.”

  Max wriggled so he could pull a business card from his back pocket. He’d started carrying them around everywhere now.

  “I open again on Wednesday,” he said, passing her the card. “But if you want to drop me a message or look me up on Facebook, we can start talking.”

  “That would be great. Sorry for interrupting. Enjoy your meal.”

  “Man, you’re practically a celebrity around here,” Shaun said as he pounded on a ketchup bottle.

  “The youngsters like me,” Max joked. “The older generation haven’t come around yet.”

  “You’re coming to our cookout, right?” Shaun said, distracted as he covered his burger in ketchup.

  “Tyler mentioned it, yeah.”

  “Does that mean you’re coming?”

  Max had already put the date in his appointment book so he didn’t accidentally book in any clients.

  “Was planning on it, yeah.”

  “Okay, good.”

  “Are you bringing anyone?”

  Shaun rolled his eyes. “Are you kidding me? Showing up with a girl would practically be like a wedding announcement.”

  “You should try being gay,” Max teased. “My mom has never asked me when I’m getting married or having kids.”